Okay!!!!!!!

I am going to stop writing in daily entries and start writing whenever I feel like it I know I haven't really done anything these last few days but that is because the humans have been staying at home but they are out of the house at this very moment. The young boy or should I say Tanner has been picking up my dog terds for the last few weeks. Hhahahhahahah that infidel anyways I also am starting to play with that little cat of Tanner's it is really fun I corner her then she does some really funny stuff and also the humans think I am retarded. Because today I rolled over for Tanner to scratch me but I rolled underneath his foot when he was walking but don't worry I pulled away just in the knick of time. Also I have been going to the gym in the backyard lately and when Tanner is weight lifting I go up there and start benching more than him hahahhah I yell "SPOT ME" you dumb human. Not really because as I know as a dog it comes out in little barks which are really annoying.

Day 10

Day 10- Today I sniffed some trees and peed on the girl dog. It was fun and she just sits there too. I chased my nub or beautiful tail if you prefer. But all the same ssdd. Well that is about it. Oh yeah and also to all you people who would rather be a dog like me don't it is a very boring and repetitive I bark when my mom gets home you know whatever.

Day 8+9

Day 8+9- Yesterday I got stoned on dog snacks. I couldn't remember anything. Also today the boy's role model died he was known as "Steve Irwin" yeah what kinda' freaks name is that. Well anyways the man also known as "Crocodile Hunter" got stung in the heart by a stingray's barbs on the end of it's tail. They tried to save him but he died on the way to the hospital. Poor guy what a bad way to go. Anyways onto the next subject I peed on the boy's bed today and then he laid in it face down right after I did that.HAHAHAHA I am so awesome.

Day 6 and 7

Day 6+7- I couldn't write yesterday because the little girl wasn't feeling good so everybody was inside but what happened yesterday. I barked at nothing chased my tail that doesn't exist. And I tried to annihilate my human captures. You know same old same old. And the little boy went to a football game. Now then on to today I did nothing literally I haven't moved a mussel all day except for to type this. Shhhh keep it down everybody is in the family room they can almost hear me I think I hope they don't see that I am super smart k-9. They are all to ignorrant to see anything beyond the t.v screen. Oh wait now their t.v show is over I must hide.

Day 5

Day 5- Today the female dropped a bowl and I walked all the way through the glass. It was fun and do not worry inferior humans I am not bleeding and it did not hurt. And the boy was going trough his homework very easily today he got it done in three minutes. Oh wait the man is coming trough the front door.

Day 4

Day 4- Today I think I am going to bark at nothing for the rest of the day. It is really fun you gotta' try it. And also I think Max the new cat is trying to help me today she weaved in and out of our master's feet trying to knock them over, unsucessful, oh well I am sorry if I spell some words incorectly, you try to type with a pencil when the pencil is in your mouth, very hard, and it is hard to move the mouse too. Seeya!

Day 3

Day 3- Today I feel so alone it is getting tiresome having to put up with these humans and there average other pets. Do they not know that I am the superior being that I shall be the maker of their downfall. Hahahhahah oh wait snackies. Gotta go I love those things!

Day 2

Day 2- Today the humans have been a little nicer I am starting to like them. Except for the short boy he got a new kitten and that thing screwed up everything he is evil. Well that is all I have to say for now.

Day 1

Day 1- The humans still have me captured in this prison called a "house." I think they are trying to fatten me up so they can eat me. But the little ones took me for a walk yesterday I think they are trying to kill me too. Don't they know that my stomach hangs down 2 feet. Bad news I am only 1 foot tall. What is still strange to me is that I am 2 feet long it is getting very annoying soon the humans will have to pick me up and carry me everywhere ha ha those infidels. Don't they know I will weigh an estimated average of 360 pounds by then ha ha. This shall be my why to plan their downfall ha ha. Their own ignorance will be their downfall. Once more I shall try to kill them before they kill me. Oh no! they are coming I must hide. Until next time you humans.